Perfection in Imperfection

Everytime I meet people who have my best interests at heart, they make those intentions very clear. That there is no such a thing as a perfect man for whom my bell might clang as though in a fairytale. Only they forget that the fairytale end comes after hard work and effort!

An interesting point comes through in a not so new and oft repeated movie called Perfect Man. It didn't reach cult status and neither did it feature in higly acclaimed circuits, but nevertheless it clearly points out the inherrent fear of disappointment and hurt that most men and women harbour. It's almost as good as an urban legend, to have to 'deal with' and 'get over' a 'broken heart' and 'broken love'. It's as good as saying why did we have to fall and scrape our knees and bleed just to be able to walk straight on two feet. Why was it necessary to fall into pits before we learnt to balance ourselves. But, do we remember those falls and scrapes? Are those blood stains still haunting us? We are walking straight now so why do we have to think back to the days we don't even remember anymore?

A few scrapes do not make us weak and hurt. Had it hurt and disappointed us, some of us would still have been crawling. On hind sight, that would have been a good thing.

The point is very simple. We didn't hide behind fears and disappointment, and stood right up on our feet. So also, there is no reason to run away before letting someone come close, thinking its better to hide instead of getting hurt. What if there is no chance of getting hurt? There is a possibilty that it's one's 'god given' brain working over time because its shovelling deep into files or maybe half a file tucked somewhere under all the cerebral matter, a file that has no relevance today and which is perhaps not an approrpiate index to measure the current situation...

That, perhaps for once, one could just stop to go through the motions of a little difference of opinion, maybe sometimes a lot, a little friction, a little sillyness, maybe some misunderstanding, maybe just some silly attention seeking nonsense...

We never stop to think that perhaps these are just ways of showing remorse, however abstract or the fact that these are helping you learn about each other. You know teething pain? Before the milk teeth and even before the perfect set of enamel appear.

No misunderstanding can be more important than the happiness and intimacy that was shared. We allow these things to overwhelm us to such an extent that we forget the laughs that were shared, the stories that were told, the lazy greetings in the mornings and afternoons that made everyday work life less mundane. We forget how much we looked forward to the ideas that were shared, the troubles that were shared, the feeling that one can share more than just silly banter sent over the clouds in messages that sometimes get lost in translation, that there was adventure in everything.

It is imperfect. But that is exactly what makes it perfect. Two negatives make a positive and so also two imperfections make it perfect. In other words, we learn to work around the imperfections and try to minimise them not eliminate, for not everything can be eliminated.

Yet beneath it all, lies a person who can offer warmth that you wake up to, smiles that makes everday life not mundane, ideas that can shape a different future, madness that keeps the fire alive.

In short, love and concern that one feels for a change, not just for one's everyday existence and for those one grew up with, but for a stranger who strangely never seemed a stranger although tiny scrapes seemed more overwhelming than treating the scrape with some antiseptic and plastering it with band-aid to let it dry and disappear. And there's enough stock of antiseptic and band-aid waiting to be used. Is it then possible for two people, no matter how many scrapes they've given each other, to offer first aid for all the scrapes suffered and hope the scrapes dry quickly......